Since running I've had goals set out for myself. At first it was to run a 5K. Check. Then it was to run another 5K to show that the first one wasn't a fluke. Check. Then I wanted to venture into longer distances. I wanted to run a couple of 8K's. Check times two. Then I wanted to run some 10K's to see if I could really run for a long distance. Check, and I'm signed up for another 10K in a couple of weeks. But I've had this nagging voice in the back of my head saying...what's next? What's your next goal? Why are you bugging me? I haven't gotten through my other goals first!
Wouldn't you know, I've had one in mind for months. It's something I've been stewing over very quietly over the past 8 months since I'd heard about it and I knew...well, I just knew I had to do it. The question was when? Notice I never said IF, I said when...that's kinda big for me when I tell you what it is!
So I talked to the hubby about it and he was and is fully supportive of my idea, that he basically told me to do it. He said, "do this for yourself, you put everyone before you almost all the time, do this for you." Have I mentioned how much I love this man? So I let his words marinate for a few days, and I went back and forth and back and forth of wanting to do it and feeling guilty for even contemplating it. I find it so hard to justify doing something big for just myself, it feels so selfish and I hate having that feeling. Why can't I put myself first? Why can't I dream to do something big and not feel guilty for actually doing it?
Up until the very end I was feeling uneasy and second guessing myself. This is something I've wanted to do for months and I'm now at the moment of truth and I'm considering not pushing the button? Not willing to take the leap of faith that this could be a great experience? One that I've dreamed of and thought about for months and now that it is within my grasp I am willing to let it slip through my fingers?
So I did it.
I clicked the button.
I exhaled. I hadn't realized that I was holding my breath until that moment.
I sat there breathless for a moment. Then I smiled, breathed in and let out a little giggle.
And not just any half marathon...