It's taken a while for me to decide to come back.
Don't worry, it wasn't you, it was me.
I feel like I've been lost for a while. Cliche, right? I don't care, it's the truth though. The last time I posted here I was talking about my physical issues with plantar fasciitis and the mental woes it was causing me. What I didn't talk about is that I was also in an extremely stressful and volatile work place that was causing me additional issues, both mentally and physically.
Stress. It's a curious thing. It can be the thing that ignites your creative juices and helps you perform well under pressure. But to that same end, constant pressure and stress can lead to unhealthy habits and physical ailments. My struggles with plantar fasciitis were real and real painful, but I didn't know until later that my stressful workload was adding to that pain. In addition to causing digestive issues, persistent headaches, irritability and generally making me an unpleasant person to be around.
Stress also robbed me of my passions. I no longer ran, I dropped blogging completely and I just didn't want to be around people, which if you know me by now, is very bizarre.
I saw doctors and physical therapists. Talked with friends and colleagues and tried to figure out what was wrong with me and why I wasn't getting better. It took a while and lots of soul searching to come to the realization that I needed a change and it needed to be now. I couldn't keep putting myself and my family through the pain of my constantly high stress level anymore. I no longer allowed myself to "just look" for something else, I was hell bent on leaving and nothing was going to stop me.
As luck would have it, I had a friend who told me his company had an opening for the kind of work I do and so I brushed off my resume and applied. Less than two weeks and a stellar interview later, I was offered the job. I was floored and ever so thankful. As I read the offer letter I could literally feel the weight lifting from my shoulders, I felt like I had been given a new outlook on life. Turning in my letter of resignation was bittersweet. I was going to miss my colleagues, but I wasn't going to miss the company or workload that I had. My departure took them all by surprise and they lamented that they wished they were leaving too, but knew it was the best for me and my families future.
Soon after my departure from my job, it was crazy what happened to me.
My headaches, gone.
My irritability, non-existent.
My sleep deprivation, disappeared.
I was a pleasure to be around again and I felt more like....me.
My plantar fasciitis had finally released it's grip on me and I could stand, walk, and dare I say run, with no pain.
Let me repeat that....NO PAIN.
And I haven't had pain from my plantar fasciitis in over 5 months now and that INCLUDED the Disneyland Half marathon weekend where I had very little training before and was on my feet running or walking 16+ miles a day.
Now I don't believe that the stress of my work life was the cause of my PF issues, but I do think that it exacerbated it. I made great strides with my PT to get to a place of recovery, but this was the last piece of the puzzle to tie it all together.
So needless to say, a lot has happened in the almost full year since I've been away from here, and I'm sure at some point I will cover the highlights, but until then I just wanted to say I'm back. Perhaps not at the capacity I had been before. I used to post almost daily because I felt I had to, quantity over quality just became so taxing. So I'm flipping the script on myself. I will post when I have something to share. So it may be sporatic, or it could be daily, who knows? It will all depend on how I'm feeling. It's my blog, right, so I can make (or break) the rules.
I look forward to being on here more and interacting with you. I didn't go far, but I went a long way through this year and that road has brought me back here, so I want to do something with it. Thanks for sticking around and I hope you can hear me now, because I'm sure there will be a lot to say.