Monday, January 7, 2013

Momentum Monday: The little voice of doubt

It's Monday already?  Didn't we just do this?  The weekend was far too short for me, how about you?  Regardless, welcome to another week and the first FULL week of the New Year!  How is everyone doing on their goals/resolutions?  Good?  Bad?  Haven't started yet? It's never too late to start!

My weekend flew by, like I'm sure most of yours did as well.  Saturday had a large chunk of time dedicated to prepping for, doing and recovering from my scheduled long run.  On the schedule this week?  10 miles, my longest distance yet.  I was trying not to think about it, because the moment I thought about 10 miles, double digit miles, I would start to psych myself out.  That little voice of doubt in the back of your mind that feeds into your psyche started creeping in; and doubt can be a run killer.

"I can't do this, that is just so long!"  "How am I going to do this all by myself?"  "This is going to be so hard, why am I doing this?"  All these and more were streaming through my head that morning faintly in the background of my thinking.  I tried to keep positive and think about what I needed for hydration, what I needed to bring for fuel during the run and where I was going by keeping the route in my head.  Busying my mind from the little voice telling me that I can't do it.

When I got to the park along Lake Washington, I was pleased at what I saw as this route was new to me.  Lots of runners going along the trail, bikes galore and chilly, but comfortable running weather.  I got out, stretched, took a picture to send to Twitter and headed out on the trail.

The first 5 miles were good.  I felt solid and was enjoying the scenery, it really was a beautiful run.  By the time I got to six miles I had looped past my car and was headed toward a 4 mile out and back.  My hips were starting to get stiff but nothing really was bugging me.  When I got into mile 7 I was heavily relying on my music to distract my mind, I was getting sore and I still had over two miles left to go.  When I got to my turn around point I was thinking to myself, it's all downhill from here (because literally it was, I had climbed a bit of a hill during the last mile), and I'd be done before I knew it. 

Mile 9 hit me like a brickwall and all I wanted to do was stop.  My hips were screaming, my knees were angry, my ankles were tired and I was just done running.  My mind kept saying "I'm done", "I don't have anymore left to give", "just stop and walk the rest of the way".  Then ironically, I busted out with this Momentum Monday quote all on my own, so when I saw this todayI knew I had to use it:

I did.  I called myself a liar.  I kept saying "You're lying to me, you've got more, show me." "You are almost done, you've got this", "Can't Stop, Won't Stop!"  Good thing I was all by myself and there were no other runners around because I was talking up a storm to myself.  That last mile I wasn't going to stop, I was almost to the promise land and I didn't want to stop short.

And I did it.  10 Miles.  Done.  I felt elated!  I had done it.  I did not let my head win and stop me from running.  I knew I could get that last mile in and I wasn't going to let myself stop until I was done.  It was a triumph over 10 miles and more importantly, over my little voice.

Question for you: Have you had a time where the little voice of doubt won? If not, how did you fight back? 

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