New theme to begin the week: Momentum Monday!

It's Monday and the beginning of another work week.  How was your weekend?  Mine was good, super busy and the weekend flew by as per normal, but more on that later.

So last week on Monday I was perusing blogs and imagine my embarrassment when I realized that FitFluential already has a "Motivation Monday".  Now I know that there are lots of buzz words that are used on blogs, but I never want to feel like I'm copying another blog or "riding their coat tails".  I want to do things for myself and if they work they work, and if they don't then they don't, and I go back to the drawing board.

So in light of that, I have decided to change my Monday theme, it's still the same mindset, just a different term for it.  Going forward, Mondays will now be called Momentum Mondays.

Momentum?  Why momentum?  Well I think the answer lies in the definition of the word.  Momentum (noun): the product of a body's mass and its velocity; the impetus of a body resulting from its motion; driving power or strength.

We all come into our Mondays still "bliss drunk" from our weekends and, at least for me, feel like I need something to help push me to get back into my week routine.  Wait, shouldn't I be doing the same thing during the weekend as I do during the week? Why am I taking a vacation from my routine every weekend?  Well I'm not perfect and I fall off my usual sleep schedule, stay up later and indulge in some things I wouldn't do so during the week.  So that is why I think momentum is appropriate for my Mondays now, just so that I can get back into motion, increasing my strength physically and fueling my emotional and mental power. 

So the momentum mantra for today and the week ahead is:

This is my mantra for this coming week.  I have fallen off the running wagon...HARD!  I let far too many things get in my way and keep me from running at all this week and I feel like a failure.  I've worked to keep consistent and to log runs and gradually increase my miles, but for some reason I just can't. get. my. ass. in. gear!  I feel like a faux runner having taken this break, like I'm a poser, and I hate that feeling with every fiber of my being.  I want to run, I need to run, I feel better when I run, why am I not running?  Where is my momentum? 

I guess Newton's Law of Motion really is true here, if an object (or body) is at rest, it continues in a state of rest.  However if an object (or body) is moving, it continues to move without turning or changing its speed and tends to move along a straight line path indefinitely.

My momentum goal this week is to get back into motion and to continue on my path for indefinite motion, and to no longer accept a continued state of rest. 

What is your momentum goal this week?  It can be simple like mine, to just get out and run, or it could be working on achieving a long time goal of yours.

Hump Day

It's Wednesday!  YAY!  I always feel a bit better about the week when Wednesday rolls around.  It means the work week is half way over and only a couple more days until the weekend.  Weekend = extra sleep and time with the hubby.  Two of my favorite things! 

Though my horoscope today said that:
"if you are wishing away your life [by rushing through the week and looking forward to the weekend when "life" will begin again], you may want to examine the reasons for it.  Are you unfulfilled in your life in some way?  If so, you should be looking for some other path to follow.  Wouldn't it be better to be doing something you find engaging?" 

Now I don't know if you "believe" in horoscopes or find them somewhat intuitive like I do (the personality characteristics I have with my sign are pretty uncanny!), but this is some pretty powerful insight!  Do you find yourself slugging through the first half of the work week wishing it was Friday, then when Wednesday/Thursday comes around you start counting the hours until your weekend starts Friday afternoon?  I think most people do, I know I do and maybe that is something I need to change.  We go through our work days doing what we do because we are good at it and/or just to pay the bills. However, there is a lucky percentage of people that LOVE what they do and wake up excited to do their job.  Not all of us are lucky in that sense, but that doesn't mean we can't be fulfilled in some other way. 

How about spending time each night with your family?  How about spending time with yourself to work on your fitness?  Now that last one is definitely time well worth spending!  We so commonly put all other things before our needs that before we know it, it's 10 o'clock at night and the chores have been done and you've been plopped down in front of the TV for over an hour and sit there wishing you would have taken the time earlier to go for that run or popped in that 30 minute workout DVD that makes you sore but feels great afterward.

Well I did just that yesterday!  As I had mentioned previously, the Seattle Center is offering free Zumba class every Tuesday evening from 6-7pm on the rooftop of the Fisher Pavilion.  Now I get off work at 4pm, so having to wait around for two hours after the end of my work day is not ideal, but how can you beat doing your workout in a setting like this?

The weather had been cloudy and drizzling rain most of the day, then around 2pm the clouds started to dissipate and the sun came out in all its glory.  Though with all the rain we've had lately, all it did was make Seattle a humid mess.  Ugh!  So I walked to the Seattle Center (my office is only 4 blocks away) and watched as other people joined for the free class.  The instructor set up his sound system, yes I said he, it was a guy teaching about 35 women how to Zumba.  Apparently he teachs nearby because there were a lot of his students at the free class.  I'd taken Zumba one time before and remembered two things: 1) you don't want shoes with lots of grip on the bottom, because of all the dance moves where your legs are twisting, the grips can make it tougher to do the moves and you end up fatiguing or even twisting your knees! 2) This workout is NO JOKE!  My hips were burning half way through, then my quads, then my butt joined the party.  I left class with jello legs and was a complete sweat ball!  Having the class outside is fun, save for the gawkers walking through that area of the park and doing the whole class in the blazing sunshine, and I met some really great women and had a blast! 

You can definitely count on me joining this group every Tuesday until August 21 when the free classes end; what a workout!  I'm so glad that I did this and took the time for me to get a good workout in.  When I got home the chores were still waiting for me and I got them done, ate dinner and still had time to plop myself in front of the TV to watch an episode of Deadliest Catch before bed.  I have no idea why, but that show is SO addicting!  I have no more excuses, if I can fit in a workout like this where the timing is inconvenient and still get everything done that I need to get done, then I can certainly fit in an hour long run or a 30 minute DVD workout.  This is me engaging in something fulfilling for me, my life and my future.

Work challenge update: My step totals for the past two days have blown my step totals from a week ago out of the water!  Monday I had 10,083 steps and Tuesday I had 16,238!  I love seeing all the movement I'm doing in a form that I can measure!

Question for you: What can you or are you engaged in that brings fulfillment to your life?  It could be work, family, a hobby, anything that makes you happy or brings you joy!

Motivation Monday and start of a busy week!

Happy Monday all!  Hope you had a fantastic Father's Day weekend with your fathers, grandfathers, husbands, uncles, whoever you wanted to celebrate on that day.  Mine was an epic day!  Early morning to meet up with the hubby's dad and sister, then it was off to Father's Day Brunch at Ivar's Acres of Clams. 

Now this is where the "epic" comes in.  This brunch buffet was crazy big...and crazy good!!!  Crab, oysters, clams, mussels, eggs benedict, clam chowder, crepes, waffles, omelettes, pasta station, carving station, grilled veggies, fruits platters galore...and that wasn't even half of what was being offered!  I kept myself to a minimum and kept to things that weren't fried or had sauces.  The guys were stuffed to the gills (hahhaha...sorry, couldn't help the pun) and they walked (waddled) out happy. 

Then that evening we met up with my family to have my dad's favorite dinner, ribs!  My dad makes the best ribs and makes his own BBQ sauce.  OMG...it's so amazing!  He has honed his skills over many years and has found the PERFECT combination, it's like nothing I've ever had any where and it goes great on everything.  I chipped in and made my famous bruschetta to go along, a surprise that dad was not expecting but devoured just the same.

So a big day of eating, a gut buster of sorts, but I kept portions down which is tough to do at a buffet and kept to things that were healthier for me.  Those grilled veggies were amaze-balls, I'm not gonna lie, I almost took the whole platter with me back to the table.  I wouldn't have felt bad about it one bit!

Only bummer about this weekend is that I tweaked my hip while sleeping on Friday night, so bad I yelped in pain when I moved.  How do you tweak a hip while sleeping, silly right?  Well it's an old "injury" that I had corrected through chiropractic visits over the course of two years.  Before I got relief from my chiro, I was in pain ALL. OF. THE. TIME.  Sitting, standing, lying down, everything just hurt.  So based on my previous experience I knew that I had to keep my hips immobilized as much as possible and use my heating pad to relax the muscles back to where they needed to me.  Immobilization = no running this weekend.  <--- Boo hiss!!

Now it is Monday.  My hips feel good, much better than this weekend and I've even taken a 1+ mile walk around my work neighborhood and I'm ready for my run this afternoon.  I need to strap on my shoes and shake off some stress.  This brings me to today's motivation.

I've been struggling to make certain workouts and sometimes consistent running a habit.  They say it takes 3 weeks, or 21 days, to create a habit, but it only takes two days to break it.  That's rough to think about!  All that work can be tossed a side on just a couple of days of non-consistent behavior.  So I'm working on making my workouts more of a habit, or rather routine.  I love routines, they create order in this chaotic world I live in.  So here is my motivation for you:

I will work on making my goals and my workouts not only a motivation, but to create good habits and routines in my life. Because I don't know about you, but once I start a routine the moment I deviate from it, my life feels out of balance.  So my habit, motivation and routine can give me balance...balance, doesn't that sound nice?

So looking forward to this week I've got lots going on!  Free Zumba classes begin tomorrow!  As part of the 50th celebration Seattle Center is hosting FREE summer fitness classes!  Tuesday nights from June 19-August 21st from 6-7pm is free Zumba, I love Zumba and I love free!  So I'm excited about getting to do this!  Then I am volunteering at the Rock n' Roll Marathon on Saturday, a friends child birthday party in the afternoon on Saturday and a baby shower on Sunday.  Whew...I'm getting tired thinking about it.  So here's to the start of a busy week!


Question: So how about you?  Are you a routines type of person?  Or does that make things too regimented for you?

Wednesday, but feels like Thursday!

Well technically it is my Thursday, I don't work this Friday.  Hello three day weekend!!  WOOHOO!!  So needless to say, my weeks get a bit messed up prepping to be out for an extended weekend.  Though I should be used to this as this happens every other weekend.  Le sigh.

Yesterdays steps total for my work challenge were...7382.  Mwah mwah mwaaahhh!  Yeah, pretty bad, especially since I wanted to take more than 10,000 steps, not less!  I didn't get a run in yesterday so that greatly affected my step count.  However I did get some good walking in while walking to my evening plans.

Mariners Game!

A vendor was in town from the east coast and we went to a game last night.  It was fun hanging out with my co-workers outside of work.  You get a different dynamic when people aren't under the watchful eye of their employer and can relax and be themselves.  The Mariners lost (big surprise there), but the company was great!

Today I had a package waiting for me when I got home from work.

I was so excited when I saw it...I love getting packages!  I already knew what it was, but I still get giddy like a kid on Christmas.  :)

My first pair of running shorts...EVER!

My running training began, and has been, through the cold and wet months of the year here in the Pacific Northwest, so I've never needed shorts.  Come to think of it, I've never run in shorts before, well unless you count basketball when I was younger, then yes, I have run in shorts.  But that was different.  :)  

These shorts are the Nike 2-in-1 Tempo running shorts and I got these for a particular reason.  The reviews said that they don't ride up!  Being a bigger girl with larger thighs, that is an important feature in running shorts because there is nothing worse than having severely chafed inner thighs while trying to run any distance.  Ouch, my thighs hurt just thinking about it. 

Check 'em out, they don't look too bad on me, kinda snazzy huh?

Though now I've posted a crotch shot of myself.  How tasteful of me.  Nice going slick, grandma would be shaking her head in embarrassment.

Well that's it for me today.  Hope everyone had a great Wednesday and have great plans ahead for the weekend.  Looks like it might actually be decent weather around here for the weekend, 74 degrees!!!  WOO HOO!!!

Later gator!

Under the weather

Today finds me a bit under the weather.  Yesterday was gorgeous!  It was sunny and 78 degrees out, finally some warm weather around here!  I got a decent 3 mile run in after work, the new theme has helped to motivate me so far...let's keep this good thing going!  The run itself was tough, my legs felt like lead the whole way, my quads would just not loosen up!  It was frustrating!!

This morning I woke up to the cloudy and cold...and a tickle in my throat.  That is where all my colds and flus begin, so I know not to take it lightly!  I've been drinking hot water like it's going out of style today.  Wait, was drinking plain hot water ever in style?  hhhmmm... Then during the time frame I normally go for a my lunch run a meeting was set up and it started to rain outside.  Lovely.

I guess it's just as well, let my body rest up for a bit while we brave another cold, windy and rainy day here in Seattle.  I've given up on spring, I'm looking forward to summer!


So, before bed last night I had to log my daily step total from my pedometer to report the next day for the work challenge.  I had logged 9651 steps.  Not bad, but not great either.  I would really like to see my total over 10,000 steps.  The reason why?  My work is very sedentary.  I'm at a desk all day long, plopped in front of a computer.  I used to work in a much more active job where hitting 10,000 steps would happen before lunch time; and I LOVED it.  I loved the constant movement and exercise I would get daily just from doing my job.  Alas, the job ceased to exist and I had to find something stable and what came with it was a stable location of work.  So getting active during the rest of my day is a huge thing for me and I want to make sure I'm getting the proper amount of activity to be healthy.

So now that I know what my benchmark is, I need to work on getting more steps then I am getting now.  The challenge is so on!

Question for you:  Do you use a pedometer?  How many steps do you take a day?  

Motivation Monday

I don't know about you, but Mondays are rough for me.

I've just come off a relaxing weekend and feel like I'm in this hangover stage where I'm tired and severely unmotivated.  I try to get myself in line for the next day by making my lunch and snacks the night before, but I don't sleep well at all Sunday nights.  Worrying about the week ahead, no doubt.   So I usually push the snooze button several times on Monday morning, get up out of bed later than I should, get ready in a mad dash, grab the food I packed the night before and stop by Starbucks on my way in to work because I didn't have enough time in the morning to make breakfast.  Whew, I'm tired just thinking about it. 

Mondays are also the days that I start my workout week up (I give myself a rest on Sundays).  So it is important that I get my workout clothes together to take to work to get my run in during lunch.  Some of the times I do run, most of the times I don't, leaving a two day gap between my runs.  No bueno, know why?  The more days I have between runs, the easier it becomes for me to make excuses not to run.  Whereas if I am running consistently my body craves the feeling it gets from the workout and I don't have to push myself too hard to get out the door for a run.  See the problem?

So in my quest to motivate myself to get out to run and try to combat my Monday sluggish feeling, I'm going to start a theme on my Monday posts.  Motivation Monday!  Clever, I know.  I thought of it all by myself.  I'll post some motivating quotes, quips and the like, in hopes I can motivate myself to get off my butt and go for a run, or a workout, or something that gets me moving.  And if I can help to motivate you in the process, then all the better!  I find that I can workout on my own just fine, but it's so much more fun with a group!  Will you join my group?

What motivates you?  Do you suffer from the "case of the Monday's" too?

Office Challenge

So my work has issued a challenge to all its employees to get more active and moving more.  I work at an office building tethered to a desk all day and leaves little ability to get some regular movement.  Ugh  So as a "Summer Shape Up" challenge, they have encouraged people to build teams of 5 people and have given everyone pedometers.  The goal is to see how many steps your team can take in 6 weeks, the top three teams with the most steps win prizes.  The prizes are pretty swanky, so it has drawn quite a bit of people to get involved in the challenge.  I did it because I wanted to see how much movement I can get into my day and keep myself from feeling so lethargic and drained at work.  Well and the idea of winning an iPad is a pretty good motivator.

So here it is...my new buddy for the next six weeks.

I'm excited because since I've been running I haven't used a pedometer to see what my step total is, so this will be a fun experiment for me.  I'm hoping that this challenge will help give me more of an incentive to go on my lunch time runs and take more walks on my breaks.  I love how I feel when I get back to work after a run, I've shaken off the stress of the day so far and I'm feeling more focused on what I need to do.

The real challenge for me will be to remember to keep it on me at all times!  I need to record the steps from when I first wake up to me going to bed.  So making sure that it is on me at all times I think will be the challenge in and of itself.  HA!

The challenge begins tomorrow so I don't have to wear it just yet.  Speaking of tomorrow, I'm going to start having a Monday theme, so stick around and check me out tomorrow to see what new adventure we start.!

Until then, have a great rest of your weekend!

I'll take it!

Today I had my first long run in a couple of weeks.  I wasn't able to get out as much this past week and a half due to many reasons, weather, schedule, cycle time, yadda yadda yadda.

It's all excuses we say to make it alright to skip a run.  The weather here the past week has been atrocious!  Raining buckets with cold blustery wind, just doesn't make for good or even fair running conditions when your only time to run is during your lunch time.  Ugh...sopping wet, yuck!  My evenings are filled with studies and classes right now, so evening runs are not an option for me, not to mention I'm at work at 6:15am everyday.  Therefore, in order to get a run in I have to do it during my lunch.  Doesn't give me a whole lot of time to get changed, get out to run, get back, freshen up and change.  I can squeeze in a couple of miles, but that's about it, nothing long range, I have to keep my runs to around 30-35 minutes.  So the thought of coming back to work drenched from running in the pouring rain is just plain no bueno!

So today I woke up naturally, no alarm.  Kissed my hubby goodbye as he went to work, then laced up my shoes and went for a run.  Just a casual loop around some hilly parts of Bellevue.  It is so tough to find flat places around here.  Everywhere you go you hit hills, whether be rolling or straight up hills of death to your legs.  Yeah, awesome huh?

So I took a leisurely run to work the dust off my legs from doing no runs, yes...I said it, NO RUNS since last Wednesday.  I hang my head in shame for taking so long to get out on a run!!!  My legs reminded me how long it had been since they had a workout and damn, I fought for every stride.  It wasn't a pretty run, but hell, I'll take it!

I just need to get into more of a routine with my running.  I have races as goals to keep me focused on something because I know myself well enough that if I have no goal set, I will fall off the wagon, it's just my nature.  So I have races set, but no training schedule really.  I need to get on that and get a schedule working.  I find I do best when I'm told when to do something by a certain time, that way I know I've got deadlines I need to meet.  What is the best for you?  What helps motivate you when you have far off goals and you're not quite sure how to attack them?

Lucky number...4?

Do you have a lucky number?  I mean other than number 7 which seems to be everybody's lucky number.  I'm talking about a number that is your "go to" number when you need to "pick a number" or a number that comes up regularly in your life.  We all have them and we know it, recognize it consciously or unconsciously and it tells us that things are where they should or the way they should be.

My number seems to be 4.  It would pop up in all sorts of places.  Number of occurrences of an action, number of people, on jerseys I was given (yes I was an "athlete" at one point in my childhood, I played basketball in elementary and a bit in high school) and, ironically, number of serious relationships.

It also seems to be where I find my latest race, my fourth and one that I feel is a turning point for me.  My fourth and my longest to date, the Beat the Bridge 8K.

Now I know you're saying "8K? Weren't you struggling with 5K's and now you ran an 8K?" and to that I would say "Phhhsssss....um yeah."  I'd seen the advertisements for this race each year for as long as I can remember.  The race is run through the University of Washington and it's surrounding area and was heavily publicized every year.  Being a graduate of the UW, I would see the banners and hype surrounding the race and often thought "Man...those people are nuts!  Why would you get up so early to run...of all things, to try and beat the raising of the bridge, that's just silly!"

Well, for a non-runner, yes that does seem a bit bizarre and strange.  However, now I'm looking at the same race from both sides, as a non-runner before and a runner now, and some of what I'd said still holds true to me.  Hahahha...I know, I know.  I'm supposed to be a convert now, I've been running for 7 months now and I should be "in love" with it.  Well to be honest, no, I'm not...yet!  Running is still hard, getting the miles done and logging the time on the pavement is hard.  Learning my pace, finding my breath, keeping a steady run to train and then actually do the race.  It's not easy, it's getting easier, but it is far from easy.  Maybe not easier, but more comfortable, yeah, that's a better term for it.

This race was no exception to my rule above, it was hard.  Luckily the course was fairly level, only a few low grade hills along the 5 mile course.  My legs left like lead during the first 2 miles, the most during the .5 to 2 mile mark.  They were saying to me "what the hell are you doing? Don't you know I should be sleeping right now instead of running with all these other fools!?!"  I had to stop and walk more times in the first two miles of this race than I have in any other race up to that point.  Sadness.  I was really disappointed in myself.

The bridge was at mile 2.25 mark on the course and they were raising it 20 minutes after the last person left the start line.  Now I don't have a watch and I have no idea how long it had been, and I had left with the second wave of people at a pace that was not my own, but I had no idea how long I had been running, only that I'd been passed by people that started in the waves after mine.  Great.

Then the bridge appeared, the light was still green meaning we could run across it.  Had it happened?  Did I do it?  Had I beaten the bridge?  As I ran across the bridge I put my arms up in the air, proud of myself for having kept up with my running and walking breaks to beat the bridge, to get across before they closed it off and halted the race.  All of a sudden my legs felt lighter and my breath more steady.  I no longer was worried about the bridge, I'd done it, I'd passed it and crossed it.  Now it was time for me to run with a couple thousand of like-minded individuals.  Just get into a groove and pound the pavement, and that's what I did.

Now I have to say one negative thing about the race.  On the map they had shown the locations of the water stations and indicated which ones would have glucose tabs.  When I approached the last station which is where I knew I would need a Gu or gel or beans or something sugary to help me get through the last mile and a half...there was nothing.  Damn it!  Had I known this would happen I would have brought one of my own from home!  Well I guess I learned that lesson the hard way, remember to always bring one yourself, JUST IN CASE!  Write that down class, I don't want you to make that same mistake, learn from mine!  This really sucked because I was feeling a major downturn in my energy level by that point in the race and I needed something to get me going through that last bit of the race.  Regardless, I kept moving.

The last mile came and my body was done, I kept churning the legs.  I kept telling myself this was the farthest I've ever run and I'm going to be tired and have aches and pains associated with this distance, but this is a milestone.  Look at what you can do!!!  That took me through my last .75 miles where I was fighting, HARD.  There were people lining the course now and I took that energy in and gave the rest of what I had in me and pushed.  I saw the finish line and sprinted with all my energy to get across the green mats to record my chip.  Then I immediately looked for the hubby, I found him (luckily, there were easily 500 people waiting at the finish line) and collapsed in his arms.  Just from sheer exhaustion and happiness that I'd made it, I had finished my first 5 miler and damn it, I beat the bridge!

I got a finishers metal, the first I'd ever gotten.  I put it on and walked proudly.  Yeah it wasn't a marathon or even 1/2 marathon metal, but to me, it felt like a marathon and I was proud of my accomplishment.  I had done a feat I never thought was possible and still has my family in awe of how and why I do it.  I don't know, maybe its the challenge that keeps me going because its a challenge against me, myself and I, and only I can improve the outcomes.  It's not a team where multiple people can determine the outcome, its just me and I think I like that control and the ability to make it happen.

Now finishing the race was big and momentous for me, I'm still really proud of it.  However it was made even more so when I saw the timing results the next day.  My total time was 1:00:20!!!  I ran 5 miles in just over an hour!!  With an average pace time of 12:09!!??!!  I shaved an entire minute off my pace time from my previous race, which had only been a 5K.  What?!?!?!?!  I was aghast.  I still am.  I am in awe of what I've been able to accomplish and see my training and hard work start to pay off.  It left me so pumped and more focused on training and getting out there and just running.  Just enjoying that time to grow and push and better myself for the sake of myself.

So here we are...lucky number four.  My fourth and longest race where I smashed my previous PR with a brand spankin new one.  Lucky number 4?  Yes, I would certainly say so.

Timeout

So I know that this is a blog about running and fitness and goals and all of that good stuff.  However there are times when my life will spill over onto the blog, it's inevitable and may very well be messy at times.

I know that this blog is about my life and my daily quips about fitness goals and the like, I'm just talking about things unrelated to all of that.  Things that are going on that bother me or that I need guidance on from people other than the sphere of people closest to me.  You know what I'm talking about.  No holds barred truth or opinion either.  The need for someone to "be real" with me for a moment and give my head a check.

Speaking of "being real", when did all that change?  When did people start telling each other what they wanted to hear instead of being honest?  Why placate, why not go for the gusto and tell someone the truth?  Honesty can be freeing and it can be brutal, but without that to guide us we would all be walking around in a self-love haze.  But I digress.

The issue bothering me today is that for the first time I felt genuinely excluded by my best friend from an event.  It's her son's birthday party and I saw the party title come up in my Facebook feed (damn social media!), however I had no knowledge of this event.  So I checked the event page and sure enough, I was not listed as invited.  Strange, I'd been invited to all his previous birthdays and I'm pretty close with the family as a whole, so I was confused as to why I hadn't been invited.

So I wrote her a message and asked why I wasn't invited?  Was it only for their friends with kids?  Had I done something to warrant them not wanting me to be there?  I just found it odd.  Her reply was nice in the way that she didn't want me to feel excluded, she just felt that the parties should be kid centric and not so much about adults.  It's his birthday and a time to spend with kids his age.  Okay, I understand that, but ouch, that one hit below the belt.  This is the first time I felt genuinely left out because I didn't have a little one, a golden ticket of sorts.

To clarify my current life situation, I'm 33 years old and newly married (September 2011) and we don't have kids.  Now don't get me wrong, we are going to start working on that by the end of this year, but we wanted sometime together as a couple before we added to our household.  We are excited about having a family with two, maybe three kids, however we just aren't there yet.

I had and currently am being left out of birthday celebrations for my friends children for the same reason as given above.  I just wonder when that became an excuse?  Growing up my parents had adults at my birthday parties all the time, that is how these people became part of our family, by being at big celebrations.  They were friends of my parents, not of mine.  They had no kids, but were there to support and share in the festivities.  I just wonder when all of that changed and when friends that don't have kids that age (or kids at all) became those of a leprous nature?

Maybe I'm taking it too personally, but damn it, when did having a kid give you the master key to events in your friends/families lives?  There is already too much pressure to have kids and now there is this added twist to the situation.  I just feel like I'm being left out, that I don't have a golden ticket and that I will be left by the wayside to feel left out and defeated because I don't have the one thing that will include me in important aspects in my friends lives.  A child.

Damn...I need a drink.