Monday, April 15, 2013

Momentum Monday: Stepping into Darkness

Today is a very inspirational day for many runners around the country and possibly world.  Today was the Boston Marathon.  Even when I wasn't a runner I knew about the Boston Marathon and was in awe of the people who were able to run it.  Now that I am a runner, I still am in awe of the people who qualify for it (didn't know that before) and who can actually run the race.  It's a rite of passage of sorts to actually qualify and run the Boston Marathon, so I can comprehend the feelings of pride for being a part of it.

At the same time that running is being celebrated on one side of the country, I am on the other side looking at my shoes and wishing I could be a part of that celebration.  I am into my third week of not running due to injury; and it's torture.  I am slowly getting better and my body is repairing itself.  So it's not all doom and gloom, it is just tough to make the justification for more rest time when all you want to do is run.

With this injury, it has brought to light issues that I have in the way I cross train, run, recover and even how I stand daily at work.  All of these situations greatly effect how I feel and how my body deals with this injury.  I am learning different stretches and exercises to make my stability muscles stronger, as that seems to be what is pulling my body out of alignment.  What all this means is that I have to re-train my body on lots of the mechanics that I thought I had down already.  I'm starting from scratch now.  So when I saw this quote, I thought it was fitting for today's Momentum Monday.

As overwhelming as all of this is and scary to be starting from square one it seems, I have faith that all of this will only make me stronger in the long run.  I will be able to do more and acheive more of the goals I have laid out for me.  It's almost like this was supposed to happen right at this very moment though.  I was struggling with deciding on what races to sign up for between my first half marathon in Feb and my next one in June.  I was feeling overly confident and thought about throwing in 2-3 half marathons inbetween that time.

Then the injury happened.

It's almost like my body knew what I was going to put it through and knew it wouldn't be able to take that stress and, in essence, pulled me aside to give me a talking to.  My injury is my body telling me that I'm not treating it properly in training and recovery and that I need to take better care or that this feeling will be the norm. 

I don't want this to be the norm.  I hate how my body feels and the fact that I can't do simple tasks without pain.  I want my body to be strong and to feel strong.  I want to treat and prepare my body so that it can take on the challenges I dream about without fear of injury due to my lack of strength.

My light is fading fast and darkness is approaching, I'm poised for that first step but scared as hell to let it fall.  Solid ground or not, I'll have to take that step.  I just pray that I will land safely.

Question for you:  Have you dealt with a situation where you were stepping off into the unknown and didn't know how it would play out?  How did you prepare yourself/deal with it? 


  1. It pains me to read that you feel like you are back on square one. You have trained so much, for too many hours/day/weeks/months to be starting back on square one. Yes, this is new and uncharted territory for your training BUT you WILL come back stronger! Continue getting the care you need whether that is with more rest or with doctor's assistance. When you are given the thumbs up, try to incorporate more XT'ing, I have been trying to do the same. You're "a beginner in everyway" so just add this to the research list. Hugs!

    1. Thanks sweetie. It was strange that I talked about this and posted this right around the time of the bombings. I agree that I'm not completely back to square one, but I am definitely needing to retrain my body.
      On the up side, my body is feeling LOTS better and to the point I may be able to run 1 mile tomorrow! WOOHOO!!! Progress!

  2. It WILL get better, you just have to find a way to quiet your mind while you heal. I was sidelined for 10 months last year. I had really just gotten back into running the previous year and barely gotten to 3 mile runs, I wanted so badly to run and train, but I couldn't. I spent a LOT of time reading about running, planning, and not letting myself give up hope. I did get better, it was just slow. I hope you heal fast. Can you cross train at all? I found that I could bike (in the seated bike know, the ones that the old people use at the gym?) and that is what I did to keep myself moving when I couldn't run. I'm really sorry, I know that frustration.

    1. Thank you, I really appreciate the support, especially from someone who has been through a rough situation themselves. I am doing all my exercises that my doctor has prescribed me and it looks like I may be able to run a little bit tomorrow! YAY! 1 mile with walk breaks. I'm excited and nervous.