Is it really that time already?

It's that time of year again.

Where runDisney runners descend upon Orlando for the pinnacle race weekend of the year.

Marathon Weekend.

5 days of runDisney frenzy of expos, meetups and the 5k, 10k, half and full marathon races.  It's a crazy busy weekend, but one that runDisney enthusiasts look forward to every year.  The races historically sell out well before the race weekend arrives and people gather from far and wide to see the familiar faces of their running family.  To experience this race weekend is a real treat and truly showcases the runDisney ohana that has grown through the years.

Refocus

Well hello there, long time no see.  I know, I know.  I should write more, and I don't call back when you leave me messages.  I'm so bad about communication sometimes, I hate talking on the phone, I rarely text or email, and don't even get me started about Snapchat.  (Really, I feel so dumb trying to maneuver through that app. SO not a millennial.)

It's Christmas Eve and I feel inspired to write.  To post here.  And since that rarely happens, I thought I would ride that wave for as long as I could.

I've been gone a while.  A lost soul of sorts.  I've been dealing with a chronic physical issue for over a year that still has no diagnosis, only more questions with no answers.  Due to this physical issue I have done far less working out than I'd like and even less running.  Though I have been able to make some strides this year with working out and losing weight I still have a long ways to go.  

In April I started Tone It Up and it was a breath of fresh air for me.  I was able to workout at home, make nutritious meals that my whole family could eat and in a matter of 3 months I lost over 20 pounds.  Something I haven't been able to duplicate since then as my physical ailments came back with a venegence and it makes my ability to workout very difficult, if not impossible.

I ran a few races this year and had a great time, but I didn't make any breakthroughs or achieve any better results because of my lack of training overall.  Something I am hoping to change this year.

Which leads me to the title of this post, refocus, which means to me that I will be making some changes this year and putting my life and hobbies/goals back into focus.  I have been lost along my way for a couple of years now, for many reasons (or excuses), which ever you choose to use. Regardless, I haven't been "here" and it's something I have noticed and am making the concerted effort to change.  I want ME back.  I want to be present and feed what my soul is hungry for, and that is connection.  To myself, to what is around me, to my family, to my friends.  I need to ground myself and fight for what I want and need for and of myself.  This year is about change.  This year is about giving a shit and not giving up on myself.  I have felt myself spiral in and out of control all this year and most of last year and I'm done. Done, done, DONE with feeling like this.  It stops and stops now.

I am ready to flash my confidence again.  I'm ready to take back what is mine.  I am looking forward and up this coming year and I seriously cannot wait to attack this coming month.  I have a lot I am doing, including a refocusing of this blog with more posts about my coming journey.  What is that journey you ask?  Ahhh...I'm not giving it up that easily.  You've gotta wait and come back to see what I am up to and what changes I'm making.  

Until then, enjoy your holidays and please have a safe New Year everyone.  Let's make it to the new year together, so please drive safe and sober, or take an Uber.  I can't wait to see you all soon!  Merry Christmas!!

Can you hear me now?

It's taken a while for me to decide to come back. 

Don't worry, it wasn't you, it was me.

I feel like I've been lost for a while.  Cliche, right?  I don't care, it's the truth though.  The last time I posted here I was talking about my physical issues with plantar fasciitis and the mental woes it was causing me. What I didn't talk about is that I was also in an extremely stressful and volatile work place that was causing me additional issues, both mentally and physically.

Training Struggle

I wanted to take a moment to thank you all for the support and words of encouragement I received regarding last weeks post. It was a tough decision to make and the more I think about it and the more stories and comments I received and read about all of you making that same tough decision (to listen to your body), I realize that it was the best decision I could have made. So again, thank you for all the stories and encouragement, it really means a lot to me.

That being said, my view has changed drastically since last week. I am no longer setting my sights on a big goal that, at times, seemed insurmountable. But rather now I am working on facing a familiar adversary, the half marathon. The distance that I love to hate and hate to love, so much pleasure (finishing) and so much pain (during). (That sounded dirty, btw. He he...) Anyway.

After last weeks post I felt the need to pull everything in and "hide" what I'm going through, put on the happy face and post about seemingly benign things. Then the more I thought about it this weekend the more I realized that line of thinking is completely opposite of why I created this blog to begin with. I came here to write about my trials and tribulations, successes and jubilations (and my apparent need to rhyme at times, HA! Did it again.) To keep the process secret and not be honest about what I'm going through by only talking about good things would be silly of me to do. I have prided myself on being honest here and talking about things I'm experiencing, no matter how stupid or embarrassing it might be.

Disneyland Half Countdown: 7 days!

Wow...how time flies. I swear it feels like it was just two months out from the race just yesterday. Where does the time go? I feel like the weeks have been a blur of worry, anticipation, excitement, concern, focus and lots of hard work. It may not be reflected in the mileage that I've accumulated over the past couple of months, but the proof is in my ability to simply get up and down from a seated position. Not all progress can be easily measured.

I was worried about my training and the ability to get my body healthy by race weekend. Now we are one week out and I still have some concern about my body being able to handle the rigors of this race weekend, but nowhere near the concerns I had even a month ago. I can't even begin to express how happy I am that I decided to go into physical therapy for my hip issues. I am so incredibly thankful for my therapist and the work that we have been doing over the past month. Her attention to my problem areas and exercises I have been doing have literally changed my life. It really is amazing.

The strength and stability I am gaining is giving me confidence to attack the coming race weekend with peace of mind. As I have said before, I am not going into these races expecting to run the whole time or get even get a decent time, let alone a PR! I am going to simply enjoy the experience and run in one of my favorite places on Earth. Oh...and to take home these beauties!! (except for the kids race one, though I love the lanyard!!)

End of Week 15 Dumbo Double Dare Training

Holy cow...did I just type week 15? That means I'm currently in week 16 and week 18 ends with the race weekend!!! AH!!! That means I will be in Disneyland in TWO WEEKS!!!! GAH!!!!

Oh man...I need to start packing. Yes, I am one of those people that starts packing way before they leave on the trip. Well...at least I get my list ready and do laundry and get it all organized, so not really packed into the suitcase, but more like have it prepared to throw into the suitcase the night before I leave. Because that's how I roll. I've been fine tuning and tweaking my pack list for the past 4 months (yes, 4 months, I get excited about trips and start to plan!) and I'm still to this day making small adjustments. Take this item off, add a different item on, increase the number of this item, decrease the number of another item. See what I mean, it's hard work being organized. 

Though this post isn't about my packing skillz, this is about training, so why don't we get to it! The scheduled training runs for Week 15 are as follows:

Good to your "self" - Week Three: Embrace

Well, we are three weeks into this body series Be Good to Your "Self" project, where we are talking about what we love or appreciate about ourselves. The first week was Engage, where we talked about our best facial feature, the second week was Enjoy, where we talked about our best body feature. This week is along the theme of acceptance and appreciation, but it's about the thing we are pushing against, our flaws.

I know, how can talking about flaws be positive? Well, it's all about perspective. We can talk about positive things in negative ways and make the whole conversation negative, it's all about structure and wording. I have flaws, just like everyone else. I see them every time I look in the mirror. I know exactly where they are and my eyes go to that point every time I go in front of the mirror. It's like my sub-conscious is keeping tabs on them to make sure I'm reminded. "Is it still there? Oh yep, right where it was before." Yes, they are still there but you know what happens? I leave my place in front of the mirror and get on with my life.

Yes, life still goes on even though I have flaws and everyone can see them! I'll wait and let you process that for a second, go ahead, I'm patient.

Good to your "self" - Week one: Engage

Today is the first of the four installments of the Be Good to Your "Self" project where I want us to explore the wonderful things that make each of us unique and perfectly us. When I was thinking about this idea, I wanted to concentrate on aspects of our bodies and our personalities and four words kept cycling through my head - engage, enjoy, embrace, empower. Not only are they all "E" words (remarkably) but they all have positive meanings to them, no negativity. That's what I wanted to promote in this whole dialogue, even when we talk about something we don't like, I want you (and me!) to talk about it in a positive light. More on that later.

So today we will talk about the first of the four words that will be the theme of each of the posts, engage. By definition, engage means: occupy, attract, or involve (someone's interest or attention). When we enter a room with people in it, what is the first thing we look at? Their face and surrounding area. That information will give you a quick read on the "climate" of the situation you are walking into because our faces show our emotions and those signs can advise you how to approach those situations. So if you walk into a room with people smiling and conversing in a lively way, it feels more welcoming and light-hearted giving you the feeling of comfort where you can engage with people. Whereas if you walk into a room with people scowling, not talking to each other or making eye contact, you feel a lot more defensive and are less likely to make the effort to engage with those around you.

Blogiversary - Two years and counting

With all the crazy going on in my life lately, my blogiversary came and went very quietly without a fuss or any pomp and circumstance. It was on March 31st. Two years ago on that day I started this little blog without a clear notion of what I wanted to do with it. I knew I was a beginner in the world of running and I wanted to be a guiding voice for all of those new runners just starting their journey. I was hoping to share my pitfalls and lessons learned so that they could hopefully not make the same mistakes I did. I wanted to create a place where I could share my stories and others could comment and contribute without judgement or conceit. This would be a learning blog for both myself and others.

Bumpdate: 39 Weeks, the finale!

Wait, did I just say finale? I'm only 39 weeks, what happened to waiting until 40 weeks and beyond? Well...there is a story about that.

If you remember during my 38 week bumpdate I had mentioned that the baby had flipped breech on me. Well during my time with the doctor we agreed that we were going to do an external version to get the pumpkin turned back around in my belly. The procedure basically includes the doctor getting their hands and arms and my belly lubed up and they, using all their upper body strength, try to turn the baby around in my belly from the outside. Sounds like fun, right?

So Monday morning hubby and I headed to the hospital and got checked in for the version. Checked the baby on the NST and ultrasound, everything looked great. Doctor came in did some final checks and lubed my belly up. The movements were slow and graduated and hurt like a bitch! I'm sorry, I don't swear here very often, but damn, this was no walk in the park! She tried both directions to get him turned around and each direction she tried he would begin to move, then he would hit a pocket of fluid and slip right out from under her grip. I could feel it every time and every time it happened my heart sank a little bit lower.

Gestational Diabetes: My Story

I think I've probably written this post a thousand times in my head before I even had the ability to sit down and type it out. I didn't want it to be something that is self-serving or trying to evoke any type of sympathy from those who read it, but that is unavoidable when you blog publicly about your life. I feel very vulnerable talking about this situation in my life, but it is one that I feel I need to let go of and "exercise the demons", so to say.

My story begins a lot sooner than most when people talk about being diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, or GD for short. I was at my normal check up with the Midwifery clinic when we went over my blood draw results from my intake appointment a month earlier. Everything looked good and normal, however my blood glucose level was on the borderline of the pre-diabetes threshold. The Midwife knew that both my mother and father were Type-2 diabetic, so she ordered the two hour glucose test for me, just to make sure that everything was going alright. If I passed they wouldn't test me again until my 3rd trimester.

Alright...sweet, awesome. Yeah, I was not looking forward to this.

Momentum Monday: Thankful

Monday already? How quickly that weekend flew by! It tends to be that way doesn't it? Especially now with the holidays approaching, it feels like my calendar is filling up quicker and quicker! So much to do and seemingly, so little time!

Even though I can complain about the fact that I have less time to relax and my schedule is always full, I should be thankful for the friends and family that I get to spend this time with. My schedule fills up during this time of year for a reason, there are people in my life that want to spend these special moments with me and create memories we will look back on and smile about. Create time and space where we can make memories that make us laugh and reminisce for years to come. 

We are approaching the time of year where we all try to remember to be thankful for all that we have, for all that we are and all that we give and share with others. This month will be filled with football gatherings and pumpkin carvings parties. November will be filled with baby showers (my own included! GAH! Is the baby time that close for me to be having a shower already?!?), more football and my favorite holiday of the year, Thanksgiving.

So in light of all that will be coming in the next few weeks, I wanted to offer this Momentum quote to everyone.