Refocus

Well hello there, long time no see.  I know, I know.  I should write more, and I don't call back when you leave me messages.  I'm so bad about communication sometimes, I hate talking on the phone, I rarely text or email, and don't even get me started about Snapchat.  (Really, I feel so dumb trying to maneuver through that app. SO not a millennial.)

It's Christmas Eve and I feel inspired to write.  To post here.  And since that rarely happens, I thought I would ride that wave for as long as I could.

I've been gone a while.  A lost soul of sorts.  I've been dealing with a chronic physical issue for over a year that still has no diagnosis, only more questions with no answers.  Due to this physical issue I have done far less working out than I'd like and even less running.  Though I have been able to make some strides this year with working out and losing weight I still have a long ways to go.  

In April I started Tone It Up and it was a breath of fresh air for me.  I was able to workout at home, make nutritious meals that my whole family could eat and in a matter of 3 months I lost over 20 pounds.  Something I haven't been able to duplicate since then as my physical ailments came back with a venegence and it makes my ability to workout very difficult, if not impossible.

I ran a few races this year and had a great time, but I didn't make any breakthroughs or achieve any better results because of my lack of training overall.  Something I am hoping to change this year.

Which leads me to the title of this post, refocus, which means to me that I will be making some changes this year and putting my life and hobbies/goals back into focus.  I have been lost along my way for a couple of years now, for many reasons (or excuses), which ever you choose to use. Regardless, I haven't been "here" and it's something I have noticed and am making the concerted effort to change.  I want ME back.  I want to be present and feed what my soul is hungry for, and that is connection.  To myself, to what is around me, to my family, to my friends.  I need to ground myself and fight for what I want and need for and of myself.  This year is about change.  This year is about giving a shit and not giving up on myself.  I have felt myself spiral in and out of control all this year and most of last year and I'm done. Done, done, DONE with feeling like this.  It stops and stops now.

I am ready to flash my confidence again.  I'm ready to take back what is mine.  I am looking forward and up this coming year and I seriously cannot wait to attack this coming month.  I have a lot I am doing, including a refocusing of this blog with more posts about my coming journey.  What is that journey you ask?  Ahhh...I'm not giving it up that easily.  You've gotta wait and come back to see what I am up to and what changes I'm making.  

Until then, enjoy your holidays and please have a safe New Year everyone.  Let's make it to the new year together, so please drive safe and sober, or take an Uber.  I can't wait to see you all soon!  Merry Christmas!!

Good to your "self" - Week Three: Embrace

Well, we are three weeks into this body series Be Good to Your "Self" project, where we are talking about what we love or appreciate about ourselves. The first week was Engage, where we talked about our best facial feature, the second week was Enjoy, where we talked about our best body feature. This week is along the theme of acceptance and appreciation, but it's about the thing we are pushing against, our flaws.

I know, how can talking about flaws be positive? Well, it's all about perspective. We can talk about positive things in negative ways and make the whole conversation negative, it's all about structure and wording. I have flaws, just like everyone else. I see them every time I look in the mirror. I know exactly where they are and my eyes go to that point every time I go in front of the mirror. It's like my sub-conscious is keeping tabs on them to make sure I'm reminded. "Is it still there? Oh yep, right where it was before." Yes, they are still there but you know what happens? I leave my place in front of the mirror and get on with my life.

Yes, life still goes on even though I have flaws and everyone can see them! I'll wait and let you process that for a second, go ahead, I'm patient.

Momentum Monday: Wishing

Another crazy weekend that went far too quickly has spilled over into Monday. I swear it was JUST Friday! What happened?!? I hope your weekend was just as fun and full of activities as mine was and that you are starting this new week looking forward to next weekend. HA!

A recurring theme that came up this weekend very randomly for me is touched on by today's Momentum Monday quote.

These words are so very true.  Let me give you some examples of  how I encountered these this weekend.

Momentum Monday: Metaphor

Hello! It's Monday and the start of another week.  A short week for most of you I'm sure due to the holiday on Thursday. I am part of the unlucky few who do have to come back to work on Friday and work when pretty much every vendor we work with is closed. It's going to be a gripping day at work, I'm sure.

In addition to this being a holiday week, the greater Seattle area (well Washington in general) is experiencing unusually high temperatures, like most of the west and southwest states. I have to admit, it's been quite unbearably hot with today being the hottest day of the heat spell; we'll be in the 90's. Ugh.  Now before all you lovely people living in the south and midwest start jumping on me saying those temps aren't hot and I need to pull on my big girl panties and deal with it, let me remind you of one little thing.

Us Pacific Northwesterners...we don't have air conditioning! Office buildings, malls, hotels...all those places have air conditioning. Homes and various other public areas do not have that lovely invention, so trying to sleep is unbearable at times because it is actually cooler outside than it is in the house.

Okay, stepping down from my soapbox now and onto today's Momentum Monday!

Momentum Monday: Forget yesterday

Good morning all and welcome to another Monday!  Did everyone have a great weekend?  My three day weekend was blissful and I got to see and interact with lots of people.  The weather was sunny and good times and good laughs were had by all.  A successful weekend for sure.

Though I was struggling with something this weekend.

Direction.

When I set out to train for my first half marathon, I was pretty focused.  I had my training plan and I knew what I was supposed to do and when.  Now that I have completed the half and it's been a month since I've ran it, I'm struggling with continuing to train for my upcoming half marathons in June and August.

I haven't been running much at all and have begun feeling "fluffy" around the mid-section again from my lack of cross training and running.  I will have a run planned and will let something distract me or deter me from going out and getting my miles in.

Then I would sit and beat myself up about it.  I would be disappointed in myself and put myself down for not doing what I should be doing to achieve my goals and continue with my training.  Then I would be gung-ho about my next run and get excited about it even.  Then when the time comes for me to go out and run, I would end up getting into something else and not run.  Starting the cycle all over again.

I need to shake out of this funk, get out of this cloud that I am stuck in so I can get back into something I really enjoy doing.  Now mind you, this has been going on for about two weeks, but it feels like it has been going on for forever.  So when I saw this quote for Momentum Monday, I thought it would be a good reminder for myself and anyone that might be struggling right now.

 

I need to get my head on straight and realize that we all trip and fall in our endeavors and that we can't beat ourselves up for mistakes we make.  I take myself far too seriously at times and can be really brutal in critiques about myself.  I need to let go and just take each day as it comes, one day at a time.  I need to remember things about the past so I don't repeat the mistake, but I can't keep punishing myself for things that did or didn't happen in the past.  I can't go back and change it, I can only work on bettering myself today.

 

Question for you: Do you have trouble letting go of past mistakes?  Do you let those affect how you deal with current situations?

Why worry?

It's Wednesday and yet it feels like it should be Friday.  This time change has really kicked me in the rear this week.  I feel like I've gone to battle all week just to get out of bed and I'm exhausted.  I'm drinking venti sized coffees (which is abnormal because I usually can't finish a grande!) and I've been feeling like a zombie all day.  Anybody else feeling like this too?

With all this and the fact that work has been bat-shit crazy lately, I haven't found the time in the days to be able to blog and it makes me upset and worried. 

Worried?  Why worry?

Slackerdom and a kick in the pants!

Holy cow...I just looked at the posts (or rather lack of posts) that occurred in December.  I feel like a total slacker because of it.  Although I strive for quality over quantity, I know there were some important topics that I did not discuss that could have been therapeutic for me and helpful for others who may be going through that same thing.

Typically December is a month full of gatherings, events and lots of joy and happiness.  Not so for me this year.  My health issues made it difficult for me to participate in any activity or even get wrapped up in the Christmas spirit like I usually do.  This past December I battled a stomach issue that sidelined me from running and ultimately lead to a few pound weight gain.  Crappity-crap-crap!

I did all I could to make my tummy and digestive system not go on the fritz and when you just look at lovely green veggies and your stomach turns, it's never a good feeling. Carbs ruled my diet for about 2 weeks, then as my stomach started to feel better, I was able to reintroduce the veggies I love to eat.

Because I was so down on myself, I didn't want to post, worrying that all I would be was Debbie Downer and too much of that is just no good.  Even for the person going through it.

So I apologize for my absence and look forward to a much more productive January and 2013 as a whole!

This year I have really set myself up to have a busy year.  In February I have my first half marathon at the Princess Half Marathon in Disney World, then my second half marathon in June for the Rock n' Roll Seattle Half and then a third half marathon in August at the Disneyland Half Marathon weekend.  I'm going from never having run farther than 10K to running three half marathons in one year.  Talk about stacking the cards against you!  With this lineup of races, I have to work on keeping up my endurance and working on getting fitter.

This leads me to my goals for this year!  YAY GOALS!!!  (Don't everyone get excited now!)

1) Continue with my half marathon training all winter, spring and summer.  I have a few months inbetween races, so I need to keep my distances up and work on being more consistent with my time at the longer distances.

2) Work on my strength training.  I need to incorporate more weight work into my running schedule.  I know this cross training will help to keep me from getting injured as well as assist me in the long run for improving my endurance and time. 

3) Try something new.  I got a Groupon for 20 CrossFit classes at a local Box.  (That's what they call their locations, right?)  I've heard from many people, both close to me and in my blogging community about how much people love and have been changed for the better by CrossFit.  I am willing to try something new where people are there to help you improve and will encourage your growth.  I hope that this will be a positive experience.

4) Change my eating habits.  During the previous year I had lost 40 pounds, mainly from improving my diet and cutting out white sugar and white flour.  This past year I let those two things back into my daily diet and I've suffered from it.  I wasn't losing like I should with all the running I was doing and I wasn't feeling as good as I had when those things were out of my daily intake.  My goal this year is to make the positive strides in my daily diet and find recipes that I can use in replacement of poor food choices.  Cutting out the processed food will make me feel and function better.

and finally, 5) To be more consistent with my workouts and running.  I struggle with this all the time, I have a goal or even a workout schedule and I can't seem to keep up with it.  I always let something get in the way or some excuse keep me from my workout.  It's troubling to me too because I always feel great after a workout/run and I always tell myself to remember this feeling.  But then the lazy settles in and I give in to it.  I will make the commitment to myself to workout or run when I say I will and not give up on myself or let the lazy get me.

So these are my 5 goals for this year and I am really excited about all of them. Being excited about your goals will help you in your pursuit of them.  If you are not excited or ready to attack your goals, then you need to think about why you have those goals and if they are right for you at this point in time.  Use your time and energy in the pursuit of what you want to accomplish and in doing so you will have one hell of a ride. 

So let's attack this year together and push ourselves in accomplishing our goals! 

Question for you: What are your goals for this year?

Momentum Monday: Drop the guilt

Hello Monday...we meet again.  Anyone else have terrible sleep like me last night?  Not fitfull but so light that I feel like I didn't sleep at all.  Oh well. 

This week is a short week for many of us with Thanksgiving on Thursday and most businesses closed on Friday (not mine, I'll be doing my Black Friday shopping then going straight to work. I know...Black Friday shopping, don't judge, you do it too.)  This week is usually packed at work full of things to do and get accomplished before everyone leaves for the holiday, making this week that much more stressful for all.

Then we get to Thanksgiving and most of us go on autopilot with our eating.  Grazing during the day on snacks sitting out while watching football, extra helpings of your favorite dish(es) during the big dinner thinking "hey, I only get this once a year, I can have more", indulging in dessert(s) even when your belly is already stuffed full of the dinner feast and promptly falling asleep due to our food induced comas.  Then the next day we get a giant old helping of...

guilt.

Why did I eat all that?  Why did I have more stuffing and gravy?  Did I really eat a quarter of the pumpkin pie...WITH whipped cream?  Ugh... 

It's the same song and dance we tend to do every year, we are excited and happy and social on this day of Giving Thanks, then we inevitably have the day of Feeling Guilty afterwards.  Vicious cycle, no?  How about we change it up a bit and do something for ourselves to keep our day of guilt as a day of Thanksgivings past.

If you know yourself, like I know myself, I will indulge on this day, not to the extent I illustrated above, but I will eat things I normally would not.  So my plan is to make my run a bit longer on Thanksgiving morning to help curb my feelings of guilt on Friday.  I will rise earlier and add another mile or two to my scheduled run for that day so I will not feel guilt about eating these items and not doing my job to exercise.  So that is why today's Momentum Monday is this:

I'm not saying that you should reward yourself with food (I believe in rewarding yourself with other things so you don't attach triumph to food products), I am saying that your reward for working out that day or adding just a bit more to your normal workout is to let yourself not feel guilty for having this short lived indulgence.  Leave the guilt on the road when you run, on the floor of the gym where you lift, on the mat where you did yoga or wherever you worked out that day.  Allow yourself to enjoy your workout and enjoy the holiday goodies, and kick the guilt to the curb.

End of Week 6 Half Marathon training

Thought I would do a bit of a catch up on my training from the past two weeks, since last week I was on hiatus.  A lot and not a lot had happened during the previous weeks training, so let's break it down, shall we?

Week 6 training schedule looked like this:

Tuesday:  30 minute run/walk
Thursday: 30 minute run/walk
Saturday: 3 miles

Last week was RI-DICU-LOUS at work and I just didn't have a lot of time to do anything else but work.  Tuesday was a fail, I didn't get out to run, I was at work until almost 7pm (I start at 6:15am) and I just couldn't do it.

Wednesday I signed up for a class at Flywheel Seattle - SLU, they were holding a charity ride to help raise money for the American Red Cross efforts with Storm Sandy.  It was the first time I had taken a class from Tommy and man, did he kick my butt!!!  I was so woosie from such a hard workout when I left, that when I got into my car I scarfed down the free bag of Popchips and banana I had picked up at Flywheel and guzzled all of my water.  Needless to say I had to chill in my car for a couple of minutes before I could drive home!  Well played Tommy, well played.

Thursday my friend Danielle was up for a run and with a meet up time of 5:30 it forced me to stop working to go run.  We headed over to Myrtle Edwards and did a 5K loop.  It. Was. COLD!  Brrr...my toes were frozen for most of the run (I need to get some warmer socks!!), but it was a good run.  We had fun just talking and working on this distance.  We will be running the Jingle Bell Dash on December 9th and want to have a good finish time for this 5K, so during our short runs during the week we are concentrating on speed!  We finished in 38 minutes, not great, but not bad, something to work on.

Saturday was my long run day, on the schedule was 3 miles.  I decided to switch my days because I was signed up for a 5K on the 17th (which is the next Saturday) so I switched the mileage and decided to take on 6 miles.  I was running with Danielle around Lake Union which is conveniently 6 miles.  She was only running 5 miles that day, so we decided that we would start together and that when we got to 5 miles, she would stop and walk the rest of the way and I would continue on for the last mile.
The first couple of miles was the challenge, it was so tough, for both of us.  Our bodies were just not having it, but we pushed on and ran and ran and ran.  I never really got into a rhythm at all during the run.  I did try a new fuel Honey Stinger Chews, they were okay, I'm going to write a review about them later.

We got to the point where we split and I took on the last mile on my own, it was hard but not as hard as I thought it would be.  My pace stayed the same instead of slowing down and I made it to the end point much quicker than I thought I would, but I also was in trouble.  I needed to find a bathroom...and FAST!  This was the first time I had encountered that extremely urgent need to find a bathroom and all the businesses around there were closed, there was no where to go and I had no idea how long it would take Danielle to catch up to me.  Her house is just a block away and I needed to get there...NOW!  She caught up and we walked to her place and I asked to use her bathroom and proceeded to punish it.  Gross I know, I lit a candle in her bathroom for her, it was bad, but I'm glad that I had a place to go because I never would have made it home if I'd driven right afterward.

Me after my 6 miles.  Good, but spent!  Those were probably the best 6 miles I'd run ever, despite my body rebelling against the run.  The other times I'd attempted 6 miles were during 10K races and I always ended up walking a lot more and feeling bad about my time.  This time we stuck to our 9:1 run/walk ratio and it worked really well (that damn one minute walk is so short!!), we got through the mileage quicker than I thought we would and I felt great afterward, well except for the whole bathroom thing.

This next week would be much easier, same schedule but 3 miles for my long run day, a 5K race, woohoo!!   That's it for now!

Time: Friend or Foe?

Time can be a fickle thing.  We may think we have plenty of it, only to watch it slip right through our fingers and we hadn't accomplished anything yet.  Other times we feel like we don't have enough and then come to find out, we had more than could ever have been wished for.

Work got insane for me almost a month ago and hasn't really let down since.  I work until past my time to leave almost every night and come back in the morning feeling like I hadn't gotten anything done the day before.  The piles of work still keeps growing and I feel like I'm drowning in work.  It invades my dreams and I wake up in the middle of the night worrying about something that hasn't been done.

The extra time spent at work has effected my home life as well; like you didn't already know that.  I'm at home for a couple short hours before I have to be in bed to start the whole cycle again.  The stressful time at work should help me sleep, but I find my sleep more fitfull then before.  I also don't get quality time with my hubby (our opposite schedules don't help the situation either), and it has taken a toll on both of us emotionally and physically.  The absence of your partner takes a toll on your body for sure.

The stress of work also kept me from my love of blogging and being "plugged in" to social media.  I was hardly ever on Twitter or Facebook and I didn't even get one post up all week.  I felt like I had let myself down.  I appreciate everyone who comes here and reads my posts, as this is catharsis for me and having the ability to share with others makes me happy.  That happiness dimmed a bit this past week and I'm desperately trying to claw my way back in.

The extra time at work has taken a toll on my workouts as well.  Staying late doesn't give me much time to get my runs in and it bugs me to no end, considering running is what I do to help get through stress and shake it off.  The fact that I'm adding more stress and neglecting the very thing that helps to mitigate it to my body has really effected me and I hate it.

Now we are getting into the holiday season where time doesn't feel like sand running through your fingers, but rather like water.  It goes SO fast and we are constantly trying to shove more things into our schedules during this time, no wonder we all get so frazzled.  We drink too much coffee because we aren't getting enough sleep, we overeat because we give in to all the temptations and treats around us, we indulge in lots of high calorie beverages (alcohol especially) during the numerous social gatherings we squeeze into our already hectic schedule.  It's a wonder we make it through this time of year in one piece!

With all this coming up and all that we will inevitably face through the end of the year, how much time will you spend that you wish you would have spent on something more beneficial, rather than the holiday rat race? 

For me, I will work on my time management to turn off my computer earlier and get that extra snuggle time with my hubby.  I will work on setting time limitations at work so that I can leave on time each day and continue with my training schedule for my half marathon.  I will be more cognizant of what I put into my body so that I enjoy the holiday in moderation and not be angry with myself for adding extra "jolly" weight.

Time may not be on our sides, but we can certainly do all we can to maximize what time we do have available. 

End of Week 4 Half Marathon Training

It is the end of week 4 of my half marathon training schedule and I don't know how to feel.  I realized last week I hadn't done a recap of my training, I was so caught up with the Dawg Dash race that that all went by the wayside.

So this week was my fourth week of the training and it came off the heels of a race, like I mentioned above.  The training schedule has my "long runs" at fairly short distances so far, so today's long run really wasn't all that long because I did taper back to meet up with the distances on my schedule.  My schedule for this week was as follows:

Tuesday - run 30 minutes (run/walk/run)
Thursday - run 30 minutes (run/walk/run)
Saturday - run 2 miles (huh? how is that a long run?)

So this week was again super crazy busy at work, so I ended up missing my Tuesday run.  Bad me, bad, bad, bad!!  No excuses, just exhaustion.

Thursday I stayed late at work to finish some things up, then I threw my running clothes on and headed out to Myrtle Edwards park to run.  This time though, I was taking the new overpass to the park instead of running half a mile to one of the two entrances to the park.  This entrance is super convenient because it's in the neighborhood of my work, brilliant.

source

I'll get more pictures of this overpass, I just didn't have my camera with me when I went.  So I crossed the overpass and ran along Myrtle Edwards.  Beautiful day, crisp cool breeze and cloudy but not raining.  I got to listen to the water lap onto the shore as I ran and that was the best music to my ears, so peaceful.  I got my 30 minutes down and pushed my pace a bit for my first mile, I was totally out of breath, but it felt good!

So today, Saturday, for my long run the schedule said 2 miles.  I kinda laughed at that, considering I'd just ran (mostly) 6 miles the weekend before.  So I decided I would go with the intention of 2 but gave myself the option for 3 if it felt good.  I should also say that last weeks mileage called for 4 miles, so I think I outdid myself a bit last Sunday.  Today also was solidly raining.

That's the construction going on across the way from me, and you can almost see the rain if you look at the lower level.  Rain is tough to capture on camera.  Regardless, I knew I had to dress appropriately for this run so I wasn't miserable the whole way.  So I donned my new wicking thermal layer, Brooks capris and Brooks waterproof vest.  I felt pretty snazzy in black and white today!

I had talked about my lack of appropriate running clothes for the fall and winter in this post.  So luckily that weekend I stumbled on some great sale finds on the Brooks website and bought a couple of cold/wet weather essentials.  Today was my first test.

It was also a HUGE non-scale victory for me today.  I actually fit (not like sausage casing tight, but comfortable fit) in a Brooks XL size.  I don't think I've been able to fit into a female size piece of workout clothing, well...ever.  So this also made me really excited for my run!

I got out there and in the rain, I logged my miles.  My legs felt so heavy when I started running, so I took it slow as prescribed today, but my route is mostly uphill for the first mile, so it was a struggle.  I got to the two mile mark of my out and back and was starting to feel really good, so I continued on for another half mile to get the three miles.  When I came back home I felt awesome!  I always forget how amazing I feel after a run and try to remember to tell myself that on those days I just don't want to run!

Here's a soggy picture of me.  I'm wet but happy!  The vest worked like a CHARM!  My whole core was dry (save for sweat) from the rain, so I may have been wet on my arms and legs, but I was warm!

You probably can't see it, but both my shoes and socks are COMPLETELY soaked.  I'm thinking about getting waterproof running shoes, have any of you used them?  What did you think? 
 

Then I grabbed my favorite fuel of choice right when I got home.  This chocolate milk is A-MAZ-ING!!!  If you haven't tried it, you really should go out and get some.  Chocolate Peanut Butter milk!?!?!  It also has 20g of protein and I know we all need some protein after a good run.  :)

So today during my run I did realize that I had made the right decision by not signing up to race both the Dawg Dash 10K and the Snohomish River Run 10K on back-to-back weekends.  I may have had a great three mile run today, but I know that I would have been miserable if I tried to add three more miles to my run, my legs would have protested in the most astonishing fashion.

Overall, this has been a good week.  Not as much mileage as I should have had and I'm sure if I had those miles I might have felt a bit more "prepared" for my longer run today.  I always feel a bit off when I run after  having a long break in between runs, so I'm going to work REALLY hard at getting all my runs in REGARDLESS of other stressors in my life.  The run will do my body good!

Questions for you:  Have you owned or used waterproof running shoes?  Did they work well for you?  Or were they not all that helpful?  Would you recommend people to use them?