Is it really that time already?

It's that time of year again.

Where runDisney runners descend upon Orlando for the pinnacle race weekend of the year.

Marathon Weekend.

5 days of runDisney frenzy of expos, meetups and the 5k, 10k, half and full marathon races.  It's a crazy busy weekend, but one that runDisney enthusiasts look forward to every year.  The races historically sell out well before the race weekend arrives and people gather from far and wide to see the familiar faces of their running family.  To experience this race weekend is a real treat and truly showcases the runDisney ohana that has grown through the years.

Refocus

Well hello there, long time no see.  I know, I know.  I should write more, and I don't call back when you leave me messages.  I'm so bad about communication sometimes, I hate talking on the phone, I rarely text or email, and don't even get me started about Snapchat.  (Really, I feel so dumb trying to maneuver through that app. SO not a millennial.)

It's Christmas Eve and I feel inspired to write.  To post here.  And since that rarely happens, I thought I would ride that wave for as long as I could.

I've been gone a while.  A lost soul of sorts.  I've been dealing with a chronic physical issue for over a year that still has no diagnosis, only more questions with no answers.  Due to this physical issue I have done far less working out than I'd like and even less running.  Though I have been able to make some strides this year with working out and losing weight I still have a long ways to go.  

In April I started Tone It Up and it was a breath of fresh air for me.  I was able to workout at home, make nutritious meals that my whole family could eat and in a matter of 3 months I lost over 20 pounds.  Something I haven't been able to duplicate since then as my physical ailments came back with a venegence and it makes my ability to workout very difficult, if not impossible.

I ran a few races this year and had a great time, but I didn't make any breakthroughs or achieve any better results because of my lack of training overall.  Something I am hoping to change this year.

Which leads me to the title of this post, refocus, which means to me that I will be making some changes this year and putting my life and hobbies/goals back into focus.  I have been lost along my way for a couple of years now, for many reasons (or excuses), which ever you choose to use. Regardless, I haven't been "here" and it's something I have noticed and am making the concerted effort to change.  I want ME back.  I want to be present and feed what my soul is hungry for, and that is connection.  To myself, to what is around me, to my family, to my friends.  I need to ground myself and fight for what I want and need for and of myself.  This year is about change.  This year is about giving a shit and not giving up on myself.  I have felt myself spiral in and out of control all this year and most of last year and I'm done. Done, done, DONE with feeling like this.  It stops and stops now.

I am ready to flash my confidence again.  I'm ready to take back what is mine.  I am looking forward and up this coming year and I seriously cannot wait to attack this coming month.  I have a lot I am doing, including a refocusing of this blog with more posts about my coming journey.  What is that journey you ask?  Ahhh...I'm not giving it up that easily.  You've gotta wait and come back to see what I am up to and what changes I'm making.  

Until then, enjoy your holidays and please have a safe New Year everyone.  Let's make it to the new year together, so please drive safe and sober, or take an Uber.  I can't wait to see you all soon!  Merry Christmas!!

Embers

I think I have written this post at least a hundred times in my head.

I would have this witty, bold opening statement.  Clever quips and meaningful stories that offer a steadfast moral.

I start...

and then stop.  Unable to finish because I never really knew how to start.

Spring

Spring has officially sprung in Seattle!  The weather has been absolutely gorgeous all week and after the many months we’ve had of dark, gloomy, wet weather, this is a much welcomed break!!  My little family has been taking walks after dinner together to soak up the sunshine and have some active time together before we put the kiddo to bed.  It has been a nice change and one that I would like to continue with as the weather becomes consistently nicer.

So it’s been a couple of months since my last post, a pretty pissed off, telling post for me.  I try not to get too emotional on the blog, I like to keep things light and to the point, but sometimes I just don’t really care and want to say what’s on my mind.  Which brings me to today’s post…

Training and the Alter G

So my training, or what you can call "training", started last week. I was allowed to run one mile. Yes, just one mile. And not even when or where I would usually run, nope, I had to schedule my run at my PT's office to use a treadmill I had never used before.

The Alter G.

What is the Alter G, you ask?

Training Struggle

I wanted to take a moment to thank you all for the support and words of encouragement I received regarding last weeks post. It was a tough decision to make and the more I think about it and the more stories and comments I received and read about all of you making that same tough decision (to listen to your body), I realize that it was the best decision I could have made. So again, thank you for all the stories and encouragement, it really means a lot to me.

That being said, my view has changed drastically since last week. I am no longer setting my sights on a big goal that, at times, seemed insurmountable. But rather now I am working on facing a familiar adversary, the half marathon. The distance that I love to hate and hate to love, so much pleasure (finishing) and so much pain (during). (That sounded dirty, btw. He he...) Anyway.

After last weeks post I felt the need to pull everything in and "hide" what I'm going through, put on the happy face and post about seemingly benign things. Then the more I thought about it this weekend the more I realized that line of thinking is completely opposite of why I created this blog to begin with. I came here to write about my trials and tribulations, successes and jubilations (and my apparent need to rhyme at times, HA! Did it again.) To keep the process secret and not be honest about what I'm going through by only talking about good things would be silly of me to do. I have prided myself on being honest here and talking about things I'm experiencing, no matter how stupid or embarrassing it might be.

I feel like a failure

Nice way to come back from a blogging hiatus, right? Well, unfortunately, this is how I'm feeling right now. I will be posting my race and Disneyland trip recaps soon, there is lots to report on that front and things are finally starting to slow down in my crazy world right now. So those tidbits are forthcoming.

So, now...what is going on?

Well, let me say that this year I had goals that I had set out at the very start of the year. I had made it very clear last year and throughout this year so far that I had the goal to get fit after the pregnancy, to run Dumbo again and to train and complete my first marathon in January 2015.

However, it seems that with every attempt I make to try and accomplish these goals I get more and more road blocks and encounter even more pitfalls.

Disneyland Half Countdown: 7 days!

Wow...how time flies. I swear it feels like it was just two months out from the race just yesterday. Where does the time go? I feel like the weeks have been a blur of worry, anticipation, excitement, concern, focus and lots of hard work. It may not be reflected in the mileage that I've accumulated over the past couple of months, but the proof is in my ability to simply get up and down from a seated position. Not all progress can be easily measured.

I was worried about my training and the ability to get my body healthy by race weekend. Now we are one week out and I still have some concern about my body being able to handle the rigors of this race weekend, but nowhere near the concerns I had even a month ago. I can't even begin to express how happy I am that I decided to go into physical therapy for my hip issues. I am so incredibly thankful for my therapist and the work that we have been doing over the past month. Her attention to my problem areas and exercises I have been doing have literally changed my life. It really is amazing.

The strength and stability I am gaining is giving me confidence to attack the coming race weekend with peace of mind. As I have said before, I am not going into these races expecting to run the whole time or get even get a decent time, let alone a PR! I am going to simply enjoy the experience and run in one of my favorite places on Earth. Oh...and to take home these beauties!! (except for the kids race one, though I love the lanyard!!)

End of Week 16 Dumbo Double Dare Training

Oh geez...week 16 of training done! That means we are in week 17 now and week 18 is the race! GAH!!! That's NEXT WEEK!!! It's almost here! It's almost here!!! Disneyland NEXT WEEK!!! ::jumping up and down, clapping excitedly::

I'm not scared about running the races anymore now. I'm mostly excited. I have been working on my running and my training has been moving along. I can't be mad or down on myself for not being at the point of health I wanted to be for this race because SO MUCH has been going on with my physical therapy. So much change and improvement has been happening that I couldn't POSSIBLY be completely ready for this race weekend. That being said, I will be able to run, have fun and work on recovering better after each race.

So let's get to the training recap!

Tuesday: 30 minute run
Saturday: 9 mile run

End of Week 15 Dumbo Double Dare Training

Holy cow...did I just type week 15? That means I'm currently in week 16 and week 18 ends with the race weekend!!! AH!!! That means I will be in Disneyland in TWO WEEKS!!!! GAH!!!!

Oh man...I need to start packing. Yes, I am one of those people that starts packing way before they leave on the trip. Well...at least I get my list ready and do laundry and get it all organized, so not really packed into the suitcase, but more like have it prepared to throw into the suitcase the night before I leave. Because that's how I roll. I've been fine tuning and tweaking my pack list for the past 4 months (yes, 4 months, I get excited about trips and start to plan!) and I'm still to this day making small adjustments. Take this item off, add a different item on, increase the number of this item, decrease the number of another item. See what I mean, it's hard work being organized. 

Though this post isn't about my packing skillz, this is about training, so why don't we get to it! The scheduled training runs for Week 15 are as follows:

Good to your "self" - Week Three: Embrace

Well, we are three weeks into this body series Be Good to Your "Self" project, where we are talking about what we love or appreciate about ourselves. The first week was Engage, where we talked about our best facial feature, the second week was Enjoy, where we talked about our best body feature. This week is along the theme of acceptance and appreciation, but it's about the thing we are pushing against, our flaws.

I know, how can talking about flaws be positive? Well, it's all about perspective. We can talk about positive things in negative ways and make the whole conversation negative, it's all about structure and wording. I have flaws, just like everyone else. I see them every time I look in the mirror. I know exactly where they are and my eyes go to that point every time I go in front of the mirror. It's like my sub-conscious is keeping tabs on them to make sure I'm reminded. "Is it still there? Oh yep, right where it was before." Yes, they are still there but you know what happens? I leave my place in front of the mirror and get on with my life.

Yes, life still goes on even though I have flaws and everyone can see them! I'll wait and let you process that for a second, go ahead, I'm patient.

End of Week 11 Dumbo Double Dare Training

Oh boy, it's only Tuesday? I could have sworn today is Thursday, well at least that's how my body feels! I had the most horrible headache last night and it hit me hard all at once. I was actually sitting at the dining table crying because my head hurt so much. My poor baby was so quiet and just staring at me from his highchair because he knew I wasn't myself last night. Luckily I got decent sleep, so that helped to get rid of my headache and I'm feeling better today.

So now we talk about training! Woohoo!

This past weeks training according to the schedule looked like this:

Tuesday: 30 minute run
Thursday: 30 minute run
Saturday: 4 miles

End of Week 10 Dumbo Double Dare Training

Wait...what? End of Week 10? Have I been training all this time and not updating? 

Nope. 

But this is where the training schedule is for last week, I've just missed the previous 9 weeks due to misc issues and road blocks. So my training for this big race weekend is beginning now...right in the middle of the schedule. Oh yeah...here we go!

Considering how far behind I am in the training, I have augmented the prescribed miles to suit a different ramp up of miles for me.

For week 10 my training looked like this:

Tuesday: 30-45 minute run
Thursday: 30-45 minute run 
Saturday: 2 miles 4 miles (adjusted mileage for my training)
Sunday: 9.5 miles rest day planned

Monday Mojo: Time to Run

Ah Monday, we meet again. Why are you so difficult? I was having a lovely weekend and then you had to barge in and ruin the party. Someone needs to teach you about social graces, seriously!

So last week was some time for me to get healed and feeling better. I've been struggling with nagging hip issues and it got worse over a week ago, keeping me from running a race completely. So I spent some time at my chiropractors this past week getting adjusted and I also started working on my back and core strengthening exercises again. This is especially vital because this will help me to stabilize my hips and keep them strong so I have fewer painful relapses.

Today I hit the pavement...with my shoes that is. I will be running for the first time in forever, it feels. I'm nervous and cautious all at the same time. I know I have a lot of ground to make up on my training to get me ready for Double Dare weekend in August, but I also know that I need to start out slow so I don't injure myself in the process. Low and slow. Keep the miles low and run them slow.

Today's mojo is a reflection of what I am doing today. I'm getting back in the saddle again as of this week. I'm starting to feel better physically and I have a game plan on training and nutrition (needing to get that back on track too! Sheesh!) So my quote for today is: 

Monday Mojo: Starting Over

Well, it's been a while since I've written a Monday post and I've decided to change it up a bit. I usually call it Momentum Monday, but lately I feel like I've been lacking (or downright missing) my mojo. So I've decided to change it to Monday Mojo, because sometimes I need to stoke the fires of my mojo to get me going for the rest of the week! Today is no exception!

It's not a secret that I've been struggling with my running. Inconsistent training, injuries and physical setbacks have kept me from getting out there and logging miles. Then I find that the longer I spend in between runs not running, the less I want to get out there and the easier it gets to make excuses not to run. Which is crazy because I feel better when I run and after I run. Running makes me want to run more and the more I run the better I feel. I always tell myself after every run, "man, I need to remember how good I feel!". 

Race Recap: Emerald City Run

Well, it's been a while since I've done one of these! (Race...well, and recap too.) Let's throw those training wheels back on and take this for a ride!

I had decided to sign up for this race a couple of months ago when I realized that I didn't have a recent 10k time to submit for the Disneyland race weekend in August. (Then when I read the fine print, they were taking times for 10k's raced AFTER August 1, 2012, oops...oh well.) I have been having issues the past month getting my training runs in. I threw out my hip and was working on getting it adjusted back to health and just trying to juggle running while taking care of an infant and somehow finding time to spend with my hubby. :(  So as the race day approached I was becoming more and more leary about my ability to even RUN this race, let alone have a time worth submitting! (Luckily I had a couple of 10k times I could submit for my corral placement for the DL races, so I submitted one of those instead.)

Which brings me to the week of the race. I hadn't run in at least a week and my longest distance had been 3 miles...since September!! My last 10k was in August, to say I was wholly under prepared for this race was an understatement. So I decided, to hell with it, I would run and just have fun and not worry about my time. I haven't run this distance in so long, I couldn't possibly demand this from my unprepared body. So I would run and enjoy the journey.

I'm here...I swear!

Wow...I can't believe that it has literally been a month since my last post! How is that possible!?! It doesn't feel like it's been that long. I know I've created posts in my head, dozens of them. Maybe I just didn't get a chance to actually post them. That's probably it.

I'm here though...I swear!!

It's Registration Day!

No, I'm not talking about school classes registration, I'm talking about WDW Marathon Weekend Registration! Though people do get schooled with the lessons learned from that weekend apparently. I wouldn't know, I've never been...until now!

I had talked about it during my post last week about how I registered for a big event during the WDW Marathon Weekend, but didn't go into much detail. Now that registration is opening today for the general public, I will talk about what it is I registered for.

Training mantra: Back in the saddle again

So this week has been an eventful one for me in the area of running. On Monday I posted about my first run back since baby and all the feelings I was experiencing during that first run. Then yesterday I had my second run of the week (gasp! I know, right!?! Two runs in one week!) and had very different feelings about that run as well. Then on top of all of that, yesterday was early registration day for the WDW Marathon weekend and for the first time I will be participating in this epic weekend of running and camaraderie! So much to talk about, let's get started!

Monday was my first run back and I was feeling so many emotions about being out running that I was just letting myself soak everything in.

Momentum Monday: Ain't no doubt, this momma is a runner!

I did it.

I ran today.

It was a weekday morning run which I hardly ever get, so I took advantage of it. It was bright and sunny, yet still cool and crisp.

I ran 2 miles, which is more miles than I've ran since December. Which is a total of zero.

It was a combination of pain and elation.

Happiness and frustration.

Love and hate.