Wait, did I just say finale? I'm only 39 weeks, what happened to waiting until 40 weeks and beyond? Well...there is a story about that.
If you remember during my 38 week bumpdate I had mentioned that the baby had flipped breech on me. Well during my time with the doctor we agreed that we were going to do an external version to get the pumpkin turned back around in my belly. The procedure basically includes the doctor getting their hands and arms and my belly lubed up and they, using all their upper body strength, try to turn the baby around in my belly from the outside. Sounds like fun, right?
So Monday morning hubby and I headed to the hospital and got checked in for the version. Checked the baby on the NST and ultrasound, everything looked great. Doctor came in did some final checks and lubed my belly up. The movements were slow and graduated and hurt like a bitch! I'm sorry, I don't swear here very often, but damn, this was no walk in the park! She tried both directions to get him turned around and each direction she tried he would begin to move, then he would hit a pocket of fluid and slip right out from under her grip. I could feel it every time and every time it happened my heart sank a little bit lower.
After about half an hour of her torquing on my stomach and the baby barely moving 45 degrees in either direction, we had to call off the game. The baby had won, he wouldn't move for us and about an hour later he was parked back in the same position he's been in the past two weeks. My doctor looked at me and said, "well, looks like we need to schedule you for a c-section".
The tears started to well up in my eyes.
This had always been a possibility. I knew that if this external version did not work then we would have to schedule a cesarian, that is the only other way to get the baby out. My doctor knows how much I wanted to have a natural birth and knew that I was upset that this didn't work. She made quick work of it and got me scheduled for the procedure in the morning on Saturday. She told me that she wanted to give the baby a few more days to change his mind and flip for us; bless her heart. She said that during my appointment on Thursday we would check everything out and if he was still breech she would still do one final ultrasound the morning of the birth to see if he flipped and induce me instead of the cesarian if he did. This all helped to calm me a bit, but I was still pretty upset.
I cried or sobbed at various points during the day afterward. I had to make phone calls and texts to family, friends and my work to let them know that the plans had changed for the birth and things were going to happen sooner than expected. I stayed home that day and was in a daze for most of it, just trying to wrap my head around what had happened and why things were turning out this way. Hubby was so loving and supportive all day, taking care of me and talking with me about the situation. He really has been my rock and strength through this whole pregnancy and I love him dearly. Also my doula and friend Katie was so sweet and came to talk with me about what I was feeling and how I can turn this birth into something that is positive for the three of us. It really did help me to see a bit clearer and to help shake off some of the disappointment I was feeling.
One of the big perks of the day was the arrival of our changing table/cabinet. We had finished the crib a couple of days prior and having the changing cabinet set up with the diapers, wipes, swaddle blankets and odds/ends things the baby needs really put my heart at ease. We were finally ready to bring home the baby.
Thursday's appointment came and I knew already, the boy hadn't flipped. He had moved an awful lot the night before, like he was trying to flip, but he didn't get very far and by the morning he was right back in his same position. The first words out of my doctors mouth to me was "did he flip?" "Nope"...and I patted my belly, "he's still in the same position." She asked if I was able to wrap my head around the c-section yet and I told her I had. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. There is a reason why I was pulled from the midwives early in my pregnancy, it was so that I could get to know this great OB who has my same personality and would go through lengths to get me what I wanted. Also midwives can't perform surgery so if I was still with that group and in the last couple weeks of my pregnancy had to move to an OB because of what is happening, I imagine I would be more traumatized than I already am.
I also believe that there is a reason why the boy isn't flipping. Maybe the cord is too short and he can't flip back around, or it's wrapped around him in a way that won't let him descend naturally, or maybe there is something going on inside of me that the doctor wouldn't know about unless they were able to see inside me. Babies are highly intuitive, more so than us and do things for a reason, and we don't know what it is until after everything is said and done.
So I am taking a cue from the little pumpkin and going with the flow. It's not how I wanted this pregnancy to end and how I wanted this little guy to come into the world, but as long as both of us are healthy and safe that is all that matters. Here is the last pregnancy picture of me and the pumpkin.
It's so amazing that it's here, that I will be meeting the boy tomorrow. I'm so overwhelmed with emotion, I predict lots of tears today. Tomorrow morning hubby and I will walk in as a couple and leave as a family of three.