Momentum Monday: A New Year

The beginning of each year always seems to hold so much hope.  People gather and talk about their resolutions for the upcoming year with such confidence and resolve.  "I will quit smoking this year!"  "I will finally drop those 15 pounds!"  "I will find the love of my life this year!"  "I will get pregnant this year!"  (I personally don't make resolutions, I make goals, because people tend to laugh off the inability to keep ones resolution, but would support that persons commitment to a goal.)

These and many more resolutions are proclaimed every New Year's Eve, without even a thought as to how you will accomplish this resolution you now have your heart set on.  Many of these resolutions you have absolutely no control over.  You can't determine that you will find the love of your life this next year and settle down, unless you have someone in mind already.  You also can't say for certainty that you will get pregnant within a certain timeframe either, the body is a very mysterious thing and doesn't always do what you will it to do.

The other things, quiting smoking or losing weight, or getting healthier in general, is attainable.  But it's going to take work.  Just saying that you are going to do something doesn't make it so.  If that were true I'd be a billionaire and Victoria's Secret model, but I don't see that happening. :)

So today's Momentum Monday is true for your New Year's resolutions (or goals) AND for life in general:

Tomorrow marks the first day of 2013.  A fresh new start of a year for all. 

A time to make the baby steps of changing old bad habits, by replacing them with new healtier habits.  Investing a little extra time to plan and shop for healthy meals for the week, to pack workout clothes and have them ready to grab in the morning on your way out the door, to allow yourself to try new things that will help keep you on track (even if that means donating half the contents of your pantry so you don't derail your progress.)

A time to change your view of yourself, by first and foremost supporting and loving YOURSELF!  We find it far too easy to put ourselves down to safeguard us from others doing it, but never realize that we are the only ones putting us down.  Self-deprication does not help you to succeed in your endeavors.  Having faith in and love for yourself is the only way you can break that cycle and feel better about all your successes, big and small!

A time to open yourself to the possibilities of all the things you hope for.  Whether it be finding that special someone or starting that family with your spouse, you have to be open to all the possibilities that this pursuit will bring, however joyful or painful it may be.  These are life's lessons that have no rhyme or reason, but are there to test you and your resolve.  Keeping an open heart will allow you to embrace the experience and learn the lessons that will make you stronger.

A time to be with your family and friends and enjoy the simple things in life.  With the looming concerns about the Fiscal Cliff and peoples livelihood being threatened, it is tough to see beyond bleak outcomes.  This is the time where the things you can't buy become more precious, at least it does for me.  Having my family and friends safe and healthy is more precious to me than any piece of jewelry or electronic.  Having that connection and nurturing those bonds can help you even in your most dire of times.  Those bonds are stronger and more valuable than any coin made.

My hope for you is that this year brings you all that you strive to achieve and provides all the comfort you need to be successful.  Most importantly, I believe that you can do it and that you can take those baby steps, that you can look upon yourself more favorably, that you can open your heart to all the possibilities and that you embrace your family, friends and the simple joys in life.  In short, I wish you all peace, love and a very Happy New Year.

Momentum Monday: Be strong and my 100th post!

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This little saying above is pretty much right on with how I feel right now.  I have been battling a stomach/GI issue for three weeks now and I didn't know if I was ever going to feel like I could or would be able to run again.  I've had to be strong in my resolve to get better and be brave when I was at my lowest points.

I am now one day post run after an 18 day hiatus and it feels great.  To be sore again is, ironically, a wonderful feeling.  Though I am feeling very reserved about not "jinxing" the whole situation with how I'm feeling, I know that this is a personal victory for me, and I'm humbled by it.

It's been three weeks since I had done a long run of any sort and I am amazed and humbled at how the body can do such great things.  On Sunday, I was able to pound out 6 miles at about normal pace for me...and not fall apart.  Don't get me wrong, my hips were screaming at me.  But I didn't feel like I was going to die or that it was an insurmountable task.  I was able to run it and finish with enough energy to possibly run more miles, not like I would, let's not get too crazy now!  I am amazed at what my body has been able to accomplish and it still wows me.

I have 9 miles up next on my training schedule and I'm so excited to attach that run.  I felt amazing yesterday after my run and I loved how it feels to knock out those long runs again!

This post also marks my 100th post!  WOOHOO for milestones!  It has been a fun ride blogging in my little corner of the world and I've met some really amazing people along the way.  Thank you for following with me on my journey, I couldn't ask for a more welcoming, supportive and friendly community!  You all are amazing!  Thank you!!!

With that being said, I wish you joy and happiness on this Christmas Eve.  Happy Holidays to you and yours!

Race recap that never was

I should have had a race recap for you this week.  But I didn't.

Last Sunday was the Jingle Bell Dash, my raceiversary race and I had my outfit all ready picked and ready to go.  But my great little outfit was never put on.  My race packet was never picked up.  My bib was never pinned to my great little outfit.  And I never left the house for the race.

I had my very first DNS and I couldn't be more bummed about it.  I've been sidelined with stomach and GI issues for the past two weeks.  So bad that at one point the doctor thought I might have appendicitis and I had to have a CT scan of my abdomen.  Tests were run on everything you could extract from the body, blood tests, urine tests and yes, even stool tests.  Warning oversharing coming!  I'm telling you, there is nothing more difficult/unpleasant than having to divide your poop into little tubes for testing.  Ugh. 

In the meantime the doctor advised that I go on a course of omeprazole and see if my symptoms got better or worse as we waited for the test results to come back.  Well the results came back and everything was normal.  Even the stool samples came back and the results were negative.  Lovely.  WTF is wrong with me!?!?!  So far nothing has been figured out and during all the waiting the omeprazole has been helping, I am feeling better and am hoping to begin running again on Monday.

That's the thing with this issue I've been dealing with, the doctor didn't want me to run in fear that whatever it is might worsen if I ran, especially since we didn't know at that time what the test results would reveal.  Since all that occurred the Saturday before the race, it was deemed that I should not run the next day.

I was shattered.  Heartbroken.  Destroyed.

This stomach/GI issue, whatever it was, had taken away something I had looked forward to for months.  It stripped me of my festive mood.  It robbed me of my joy, the one thing that is for me and me alone, my running.  I was devastated.  I know some of you maybe feeling like I may have been overreacting, but I don't care.  This was something that was important to me and something I worked for and wanted to celebrate, and it didn't happen.  

I awoke the morning of the race on my own, at the time that I would have been getting up to get ready, it's as if my body knew that I was supposed to be up.  No alarms were set, my body just woke up.  I stared at the clock, watching the minutes go by, thinking of what I would be doing if I was running the race.  All I wanted to do was go back to sleep, but I couldn't, my body was restless.  Then as the start time for my wave came onto the clock, I burst into tears.  I didn't intend on it and the emotions were just too much to hold back.  I sobbed silently in the dark.  Cursing my body for turning on me and keeping me from the race and cursing at it again for being awake at that moment so I could have another reminder that I'm not at the race.  It was my low point and I was deep in self-pity.

My lovely husband woke up when he heard me crying (he had taken to sleeping on the couch while I was sleeping propped up in the recliner, hoping that would help with my GI issues, he didn't want to be far away from me).  He helped me up out of the chair and gave me a big long hug telling me that I will get through this and that I need to take care of myself and that I will run and race again.  His never ending positivity is a light in my darkness and it may not have felt like it at the time, but he was right.

I have spent this past week off my feet and out of my sneakers and I have never wanted to get back into them so badly.  But no matter what my training schedule says, I am ignoring it, because getting out there too soon will send me back to where I was almost two weeks ago.  Last night was my first night back in bed in over a week, and it was the best night sleep I've had.  Each day the pain is a bit less, each day I make baby steps back into my "normal" routine, each day I get a step closer to running again.  It's painful to be making this slow progress, but I'm getting there.  All I know is that however short or long that first run will be, it will be done with a huge grin on my face, for I will finally have my joy back.

"The Jam" Thursday - What is blowing up my iPod

It's Thursday again and time for another installment of "The Jam" Thursday where I share the songs that get my booty bumping and my legs pumping.

I haven't been able to run for the past week due to GI issues and that's had me pretty bummed to say the least.  During this time though I have been listening to A LOT of Christmas music.  It is so festive everywhere you go and you can't help but get into the holiday spirit.  Last Friday I went to the annual Figgy Pudding Choir Sing-off in Seattle where they actually close down 3 blocks on Pine Street (in the heart of downtown) for about two hours and several choirs are stationed throughout that area performing Christmas songs for your vote.  They also fundraise for a local charity prior to the big event, so it is really a great way to get into the holiday spirit with a few thousand other people.  :)

So today's "jam" is Christmas themed and one that I always croon to when it comes on, and yes, I would run to this as well.

All I Want For Christmas Is You

Hope you are all getting into the festive holiday spirit and are celebrating with your loved ones!  Enjoy!

Momentum Monday: Fear

This week has been trying for me to say the least. I have been dealing with health issues that have kept me from doing something that I enjoy, something that I've been looking forward to and has me in a funk.  I've had to change how I sleep, what I eat and I can't run.  I'm pretty depressed to say the least. 

However this brief change in my life, while we figure out what is wrong, helps me to deal with today's Momentum Monday.

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I have been feeling really down about my current situation and letting it get the better of me.  The moment you let something get you down, you give it power over you and it can control how you make decisions.  I have been letting fear take my confidence and my hope that things will get better soon with my health.  I need to let myself heal and get better, without all the worry and stress of fear.  

I've had the most incredible support while I've been battling with this issue from my husband.  He has been by my side every free moment he has (he works on the weekend).  He has even been sleeping on the couch in the living room while I sleep upright in the recliner.  I tell him to go sleep comfortably in the bedroom, but he refuses and says that he doesn't want to be that far away and he wants to take care of me.  He is such a good man and I love him so much.

Regardless of what is going on right now, it will make me stronger and wiser for the future.  This is only a bump in the road and I need to keep perspective and keep my eyes fixed on the horizon.  It will get better, I will get better and I'll be out there soon feeling the road pass under my feet.  And I will be smiling the whole time.